A Conservative’s Wish List for Santa

With Christmas right around the corner, I decided, on the off chance that my belief in Santa as a fable is misplaced, to write a wish list for him to fulfill. After all, I’ve been a (relatively) good boy this year, so I think I deserve to have at least some of my wishes come true. I’ve been a good citizen, paid my taxes, stayed out of jail, stayed faithful to my wife, provided for my kids; heck, I didn’t even get a speeding ticket. Yes, the more I think about it, the more that I am positive that I deserve this. You might say that I feel…entitled.

So, in random order, here are some things on my wish list…

An educated electorate. If the American people had even the remotest clue about American history, economics, and especially about the proper role of government under our Constitution, there is absolutely no way that they would have re-elected the Charlatan-in-Chief, who could not campaign on the successes of his first term, since there were none to campaign on. With sustained unemployment levels the highest they’ve been since the Great Depression, record numbers of people on food stamps, disastrous foreign policy, rising inflation (sorry, “quantitative easing”), and the continuing unpopularity of his signature legislative “achievement”, ObamaCare, there should have been no chance of Obama getting re-elected. He campaign was based almost entirely on demonizing a good man, and making a curse and an epithet of individual achievement and wealth accumulation. Despite the fact that the Top 1% pay nearly 40% of all income taxes, and the Top 5% pay around 70%, Obama was successfully able to frame our national economic problems as the results of the “millionaires and billionaires” not “paying their fair share”. Despite the fact that taking EVERY DIME of income from the Top 1% would only fund the operation of the federal government for a few months, Obama successfully convince a narrow majority of the American voters to vote for him on the promise that, in a second term, he’d make sure that the rich got soaked. It was classic Marxist propaganda at its finest.

That brings me to my next wish; namely, Republicans who can speak convincingly and eloquently about conservative principles because they believe deeply in them. It makes me want to smash my skull into a wall to listen to the pathetic, incomprehensible, wonkish defenses of conservatism by Republican “leaders” in Congress. Instead of the Reaganesque storytelling to blue-collar Americans of why a true free market, low taxes, limited government, and minimal regulations is the key to prosperity for ALL Americans (even if that prosperity is unevenly distributed due to uneven distribution of natural abilities, ambition, intelligence, and work ethic), we get apologies for conservative principles and promises to “work together” (i.e., abandon principle for political expediency). We get Todd Akin and “legitimate rape”, or John McCain and his Free Speech Suppression and Incumbent Protection Act (you may also know it by its media moniker of “McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform”). It is truly demoralizing.

Next wish…House Speaker John Boehner miraculously undermines my skepticism of Darwinian evolutionary theory and manages to spontaneously grow a spine. His negotiations on the “fiscal cliff” debates have been an embarrassing display of prostration and groveling. Seemingly forgetting that it is HE who holds the power to shut down government, he has repeatedly renegotiated with himself every time Obama rejects his latest offer out of hand. Rather than a co-equal in the hierarchy of our federalist national government, he is behaving like a court jester, desperately seeking the approval of his master, King Barack. Is this truly the best Republicans have in national leadership? If Obama refuses his overtures again and again, what is he going to do…cry some more?

Next wish…we have a national moral awakening. Though oft derided by the left and left-leaning, the vast majority of our problems can be traced back to an erosion of the collective national morality. John Adams once said that our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people, and was wholly inadequate to the government of any other. Yet today, we have witnessed the wholesale slaughter of tens of millions of the unborn in the name of “privacy rights”. We tolerate marital infidelity, perjury, and abuse of power, so long as it is “our guy” doing it (there will be hell to pay if the offender is on the other team). We have witnessed an astronomical rise in the number of children born out of wedlock, and the corresponding explosion of government agencies and programs meant to replace the functions that traditionally fell under the purview of the family, the church, and the community. And then we wonder how we end up with institutionalized, intergenerational government dependency, gang violence, mass shootings, sex trafficking, drug addiction, and a host of other “social problems”.

Speaking of churches, how about seeing an outpouring of true Christian love from the churches? It seems today that all too many churches focus on putting on a good show to attract larger congregations, something akin to a rock concert. From the live bands to the fiery, emotionally-charged rhetoric and pleas for more money, the true meaning of Christ’s teachings seem too often to get lost in the shuffle. Don’t get me wrong, many churches still do some good work, but somehow it is hard for me to imagine Christ preaching the Sermon on the Mount with Green Day in the background stoking the crowds, or Christ passing around baskets, not to give fish and bread to the hungry, but to take up collections for a fabulous addition to the temple, complete with theater-style seating and state-of-the-art audio/visual technology. Christ was a humble man, not a self-promoter. He was not concerned about gathering huge crowds, but with attending to the needs of the poor, the sick, and the downtrodden. I can’t help but think that He would be greatly disappointed today with many who profess to preach in His name.

There are many other things I’d love to see for Christmas as well. A full repeal of ObamaCare, a repeal of the 16th and 17th Amendments, a greater understanding and appreciation of the 9th and 10th Amendments, the phasing out of MediCare, Medicaid, Social Security, corporate welfare, and about 90% of the federal government agencies and programs which violate the Enumerated Powers clause of the Constitution (which 90% of the American people could not explain).

I’d like to see resurgence in personal morality and ethics, of personal charity, of doing things not because we CAN, but because we SHOULD. I’d like to see broken homes mended, and schools which teach critical thinking, not government-approved indoctrination. While I’m at it, I’d like to never hear the name Justin Beiber ever again, or Nikki Minaj or Lady Gaga for that matter, or hear the grating voice of Spongebob Squarepants, or see that girl on that Disney show my little ones watch that just creeps me out when she smiles. I’d like to never again be lecture about the need for personal sacrifice for the collective good by Hollywood glitterati that make more in a year than I’ll likely earn in a lifetime.

I’d like UGA to win a football national championship, the Falcons to win the Super Bowl, and the Braves to win the World Series. I’d like to never hear the absolutely moronic phrases “fair share” and “milliuonaires and billionaires” again, especially when talking about people making a small fraction of that. I’d like a law passed requiring Warren Buffet to pay a billion dollars to the Heritage Foundation and the Cato Institute every time he peddles the lie that his secretary pays more income taxes than he does, and that the uber-wealthy such as himself want to pay more taxes if Congress will just oblige them and pass a law.

Oh, and world peace…that would be nice.

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